I hear this all of the time from people passing by that have lived though parenting. They say “Enjoy this time, no matter how crazy it may be. Take it all in. Their childhood will pass before you know it.”.
These comments have compelled me to see the beautiful moments with my son that make great memories. I want to spend my time wisely with him so that someday I can reminisce about all of the good memories that we had together.
Of course, I am also compelled to make sure that he continues to see me when I’m old. Making memories that will last a lifetime will help him do that (hey now, aren’t we all a little selfish?). No judgement!
How Do I Make My Time With My Son Special?
Having a Christian working mom blog and being a full time employee takes up a lot of my time. However, the first thing I do to make Izaak know he’s an important part of my life is to make sure that he knows exactly how much I love him. Of course as a mother I love my child with all of my heart and would do anything to protect him and make him happy, but with the busyness of life and necessary discipline that is part of parenting, sometimes speaking words of affirmation is forgotten in our household.
What I Say Matters As A Mom
It has taken me years to learn these lessons of communication that I know try to use everyday. Words can make an impact, especially coming from someone that you love.
Here are some words of affirmation that I use to remind Izaak how truly meaningful he is in my life:
1. I love you
Every morning before Izaak goes to preschool, I make sure to say “I love you, have a good day”. Saying “I love you” is a great reminder to Izaak that no matter what the circumstances are, no matter where he is in life, they he has the love of his parents. A parent saying “I Love You” to their kids has multiple benefits for all members of their family.
Lesson Learned: It’s important to say “I love you” not just when life is going smoothly but also when you face challenges with your child.
When I face a struggle with Izaak, I let him know that I still love him even though he made a mistake. He knows that there are consequences to his actions and thats why he is being disciplined.
Lesson Learned: It’s important to let children know that discipline does not equal hate.
2. I’m listening
When Izaak becomes frustrated, I have to let him know that I am listening. When he’s happy, he’s happier when I listen to his story.
Lesson Learned: Kids want to know that they can come to you with anything, and you will always lend them your ear.
3. You can do it
This weekend I took Izaak roller-skating and he was going slower than everyone in the rink because it was his first time. Izaak was very discouraged but with words of encouragement he tried a little harder to learn and is excited to try again.
Lesson Learned: Reminding children not to give up when they are struggling gives them hope and encouragement to keep trying.
4. I’m sorry
Everyone makes mistakes (see number 7). What is important is that everyone learns from the mistakes that they make and takes responsibly for their actions.
Lesson Learned: One of the ways to be a good role model to a child is to admit when a mistake was made and apologize for said action.
5. You’re a rock star
Kids love to hear that they are special. I call Izaak a rockstar because it reminds him that he is awesome just the way he is and to keep doing what he is doing.
Lesson Learned: A positive nickname is a great way to give a child confidence in themselves.
6. I’m proud of you
Whoa, this one is big for kids. I say “I’m proud of you” to Izaak and he is smiling from ear to ear.
Lesson Learned: Kids love hearing that their parents are proud of them.
7. Everyone makes mistakes
If Izaak knows that what he did was wrong and is learning from his mistakes, I know that he is more likely to alter his behavior in a positive manner.
Lesson Learned: Positivity can help alter a child’s way of thinking.
8. I forgive you
When Izaak does something naughty, he knows that no matter what I love him and forgive him, even if I discipline him. I try to have him apologize and he usually does once he’s taken some time to reflect on his actions. Izaak knows that I will not act angry towards him in the future for his past actions.
Lesson Learned: Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. God forgives us for our sins and we have no right to judge or hold a grudge, especially towards our children. It’s great when a child knows what forgiveness is because they are more likely to forgive others as well.
9. It’s okay, it was an accident
Things are just things. Bumps are nothing if they weren’t caused by anger. Izaak does not have to walk on eggshells because we know that Izaak, as a kid, has to live life to the fullest.
Lesson Learned: Accidents happen! Let them know it’s no big deal, have them help you fix it and move on.
10. You’re handsome
My kid loves hearing that he is handsome!
I remember as I was growing up my mom would give me confidence in every area of my life. Thanks to her I am a confident woman who marches to the beat of her own drum. I want my son to be confident in himself as well.
Lesson Learned: Confidence is key when raising children.
11. You are a blessing
Izaak knows that he is a blessing with a special purpose in the lives he is a part of. He also is aware that that God created him for a reason and that I am honored to be his mommy.
Lesson Learned: Kids love hearing that they are valuable.
12. I understand
Saying “I understand” or “help me understand what you are trying to say” let’s Izaak know that I am listening and want to support him.
Lesson Learned: The feeling of being understood is almost as important as feeling loved.
13. You make me happy
I love telling Izaak that he changed my life for the better. He knows how happy he makes me even on our hard days.
Lesson Learned: Kids are blessings and they need to know it.
14. Thank you
Kids love feeling included and helpful. Izaak gives me hugs when I fall or helps me switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer. He tells me that I look pretty and knows that I appreciate everything he does and says when he is trying to be helpful.
Lesson Learned: Kids love to know that they are appreciated. Saying “thank you” reminds them of their worth.
15. You’re smart
Every child has their God-given gifts that need to be nurtured.
Lesson Learned: Each child has a beautiful gift that God uses for a special purpose.
16. You’re strong
In times of crisis, I remind Izaak that he is strong and that God and family will always be by his side. Izaak knows that he can do anything and overcome any situation with the love that surrounds him.
Lesson Learned: It’s good to teach children that they can overcome anything because God is on their side.
17. I want to spend time with you
It’s not a chore bringing Izaak to an activity or playing legos and cars. I genuinely love hanging out with him.
Lesson Learned: Time goes by fast! It’s important to enjoy every moment with loved ones, no matter how chaotic the moments may. be.
18. You make me laugh
You are so funny and know exactly how to cheer me up. You’re imagination is beyond belief.
Lesson Learned: Your kid’s personality will light up the room as long as they are confident enough to allow their true self to shine.
19. I love you just the way you are
I don’t want Izaak to ever feel like he isn’t good enough, in fact he is everything I want him to be.
Lesson Learned: Be grateful for your beautiful child.
The mouth is a powerful tool. How do you make your child feel special through words? Share below!
-Holly, the imperfect momma.
The Christian Working Mom Blog
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