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Why The World Needs Less Judgement And More Encouragement
There is something beautiful about the art of a compliment. In fact, according to a new study the brain reacts to receiving a compliment the same way as if it were given cash.
I am not surprised by this new evidence that supports the importance of recognition in this fast-paced, competitive world.
Mothers especially feel this pressure when raising their children. They want to make sure that not only are they doing a good job, but that no one can do it better. Women’s empowerment is important in the parenting world.
Why Women Supporting Women Is Important
Women’s empowerment is something necessary for equality of all people, and there is something magical about women supporting women. And there’s something devastating about a mother that feels less than enough.
One of the hardest times I experienced as a mother was when a family member compared my child to my sisters child. My son is a busy three year old boy and sometimes has a hard time listening, which my husband and I are working on everyday. It was over the phone and I had to cut the conversation short because I was on the verge of tears. I felt like a terrible parent. Their words had left a mark on my heart that I will most likely never forget.
Other peoples actions and words can sometimes cause us to doubt our parenting techniques.
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I received a call not ten minutes later and my family member apologized. I instantly forgave them. Words can easily slip the tongue and no one is perfect. However, this mistake can be avoided.
Words Of Affirmation Can Make A Mother’s Day
Always focus on how to positively affect someones life instead of offering unsolicited advice. I know when people tell me my son is sweet, or that it is normal for him to be busy, it makes me feel like I’m doing right as a mom. I am once again reminded that my kid is going to be, well a kid. I know my son more than everyone, and his kind heart and vibrant energy makes me proud everyday. But it makes me even happier that others notice how awesome my child is, because after all aren’t all children really awesome? (And aren’t all mothers and fathers really great for the love that they give their child.)
If we just loved and supported each other without passing judgement, motherhood would be more enjoyable and less competitive.
I want to bring my son to McDonald’s occasionally and let him play in the germ infested play place without being judged. I want to be able to have him go to daycare four days a week so that he can play with his friends without others reminding me that a kid needs his mom. My husband and I are just trying to make a living so that we can provide a safe and substantial environment for our son to grow up in.
So, as the saying goes, if you don’t have something nice to say, shut up.
A mother has no right to act like Judge Judy. So if someone whips their gavel out at you and tries to tell you how to raise your child, just remember that they themselves probably have challenges in their life. Maybe that person needs a simple smile or a reminder that they are doing a good job.
Compliments are magical. They can make a mother’s day, especially if that mom is struggling. And they are a chain reaction of magicalness.
I just made up a word, but hear me out. Let’s say you compliment someone and make them feel positive. They may spread that positive energy by complimenting others.
As mothers, its time to stop judging each other.
Stop looking down at the mother in the bakery that allows her toddler to cry it out, or the mom that gives in and buys her son a cookie. Stop judging mothers if they bottle feed, or breastfeed in public. Some moms like to stay at home with their children, some like to go to work. Either way is great. I feel that no matter what a mother does, there is always someone their to criticize it. Why is this the reaction?
Motherhood Is Not A War
There is no one right way to parent. Every mom questions the choices she already has carefully made over her children. Lets not make these choices harder. Motherhood can be overwhelming! So don’t judge me when I let my kid have McDonald’s, because most of the time he eats better than I do. I want to enjoy my time with my child instead of wondering how I can do better, because deep down I know hes fine and he loves me. And that’s all that matters.
-Holly, the imperfect momma