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Taken from The New York Times:
“PARIS — A public letter signed by more than 100 French women that denounced the #MeToo movement has sparked an intense debate in France over everything from the appropriate limits of flirtation to the extent to which the French should absorb American sexual norms.”
There is definitely some metoo backlash, and I’m all for it.
I WANT TO START BY SAYING THAT I AM ON THE WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT TRAIN AND READY TO FACE ANY OBSTACLE THAT COMES DOWN THE TRACKS.
But I’m not a feminist.
In fact I’d rather be called an equalist. Calling myself an equalist is an easy way to express that I am a woman who wants equality for everyone. It’s not just about myself.
The #MeToo backlash is in full-force for many good reasons and I am here to add to that backlash.
Here Is Why I Am Not Supporting The #MeToo Movement:
1. The #MeToo movement has become a witch hunt. Every man that has been accused has been immediately destroyed and reputations have been ruined even with lack of evidence. What happened to innocent until proven guilty? We cannot assume that every man that is accused of sexual harassment is guilty. In times of crisis, not only do we need to protect innocent women, we need to protect everyone. This isn’t Salem, Massachusetts in 1692.
In 2002, Brian Banks went to prison for five years because he was wrongfully imprisoned for rape. Yes it still happens! Innocent men still are accused and even found guilty for crimes that they did not commit.
2. Women that don’t want to participate in the movement are being harassed for not doing so, and that is NOT OK. It is never ok to harass someone just because they might have a unique viewpoint. Instead, we should listen to their viewpoint and thus expand our way of thinking.
empowerment- the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.
Actress Blanca Blanco wore bright red to the Golden Globes when most of its attendees wore black to protest harassment. And then she got harassed. Here is one of her many clever responses. (Which I retweeted in support.)
Now some claim that Blanco wore a red dress for attention, but again isn’t that what the #MeToo movement is about? Stopping people from making excuses to shame or harass someone? Harassment is a behavior that educated adults should not condone.
3. Flirting is not harassment. Neither is a man trying to dance with a woman, or telling her that she is beautiful. If someone continues their advances on a woman after she declines them that is different. However, men should never feel scared to approach a woman. Biologically, men think women are very beautiful. The beauty of a woman should be celebrated in a respectful manner.
Quick Question: Why is it a big deal if a man opens a door for a woman? We all know that women are capable of opening doors. Some men just like to be chivalrous and personally I find that very appealing.
If a man opens a door for a woman, its out of respect. I doubt that their intentions are impure or that they think that women aren’t strong enough or smart enough to open a door. That is preposterous.
4. Women need to stop asking other women if they have been harassed. That is not acceptable behavior. Assuming that a woman who doesn’t support the #MeToo movement has never been harassed is highly illogical. (And downright stupid.) Forcing a victim to relive their trauma could be triggering to said victim.
I do think the #MeToo movement has good intentions.
But let me ask, what does America want to achieve with this movement? If we want equality for all and freedom to express ourselves as we please then we are going about the movement in the wrong way. This is why I am an equalist, and why I’m not a feminist. Because the feminist movement does not stand for equality.
The #MeToo movement needs to admit to the fact that living in the United States as a woman is not a living nightmare. I’d say that overall men and women have equal rights, of course for the exception of the small amount of assholes out there that still think women are below them. (Also, let’s not forget the women out there that genuinely hate men.)
I know husbands that make more than their wives, but I also know wives that make more than their husbands.
I know some women who love to stay at home, and some that love to work. We have just as much choice as men, maybe more. Men rarely have the choice to be stay at home dads.
Here’s Why We Shouldn’t Paint Men Like They Are Monsters
If we paint this picture of men looking like monsters, women will be too afraid to date them. I already have seen it happening in everyday culture.
I know that most women have experienced some sort of assault in their life, but when you think of how many women one twisted man can assault, it makes sense. It’s maddening that there are men out there that are so evil they make every man look bad. I hope that these terrible men don’t cloud our vision in such a way that cause us to view all men as barbarian. I’d hate for that to happen to the good men that are everywhere.
Let’s not be afraid of relationships because of fear of men.
I don’t want to condemn men. I have a son and I don’t want him to grow up thinking that he is bad because he has an x and a y chromosome.
Our country has become divided. There are two sides to each argument and you can see it in just about everything. Let’s not divide our country further by starting a war on men. Instead, let’s try a little harder to work together.
Thoughts? Comment below.
-Holly, the imperfect momma.