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I’m just getting done with work and I’m exhausted.
I’ve worked eight hours today and just don’t feel like doing anything that involves cooking, cleaning, laundry, or toys. So I order pizza and we turn on a movie. For a few moments I feel at peace.
Then I think about everything that has to be done, and I feel this instant pressure that it needs to get done RIGHT NOW. The laundry bin is full, and the second one is filling up. I tell myself “IT’S OK, Holly.”, but to me it is the end of the world.
We’ve all been there.
Especially at the beginning of the week. There’s no such thing as #MondayMotivation. (Even though I hashtag that every Monday.) The struggle to be not just successful in work but also successful as a wife and mother can have women being pulled in different directions. There never seems to be enough time.
I’ll be honest, I love quiet nights when I can get myself to relax. I also think that as a family, we really bond over time spent relaxing together. When we watch a movie together, or do a fun science project, or look at the stars. These simple moments spent as a family really help us focus on our relationship and form an even closer bond.
Even the Bible, the world’s most sacred book, stresses the importance of quiet time.
“But when you pray, go to your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in Secret, will reward you.” – Matthew 6:6
I TRY to apply quiet time not only during worship but also in my everyday life. The problem is, I always feel like I have to compare myself to other moms and do not just what they do, but do MORE. This habit of mine is really unhealthy. The Bible makes a point about practicing righteousness to simply be seen by others.
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 6:1
Where am I going with this? I think these verses offer infinite wisdom in my everyday life. I try so hard to look like the perfect mom and have the perfect image. Why? I need to focus on more of my relationship with God and my family. The closer I become to God the farther I am from repeating the same mistakes I make over and over.
One of my strongest weaknesses is relying on myself instead of trusting in God. I don’t take the time to listen to him. Instead, I stress myself out and my family out by trying to be perfect. Yes it’s great to go out and do things. It’s not great to wear my family out to be just because I have the urge to be the “best” mom according to social media. Comparisons are unfair and deadly for both parties. God doesn’t want us to compare, he wants us to focus on him so that he may provide us the life that he wants us to live.
Comparing and trying to out-mom each other is nasty.
I have to stop doing this myself, it’s almost like it’s highschool again and I feel as if everyone is cooler than me. But it’s so hard not to when society encourages to try to outperform one another. I’m so done with that.
I need to stop caring if I can’t afford to take my four year old to Disney World even though he had a great time at Wisconsin Dells. I have to stop being envious at mothers who can get their child to sit still at the dinner table when mine can’t sit still for five seconds. God gave him his energy and curiosity for a reason. Someday he will more than likely be a leader because of his zest for life. I can’t wait for what life brings to him.
I took a good look at my life lately and realized that I needed to re-prioritize every inch of it.
I need to stop worrying about if I have enough friends or if I’m doing enough as a mom. Instead, I need to focus on God and make sure that we as a family are happy and that the friends I do have that I treat right. (Because the ones that I do have love me for who I am, and I truly appreciate it.) I also need to be thankful for everyday, and look at everything as the blessing that it is. The beautiful snow, the fun lego towers, our warm, safe home. We are so blessed and I get mad at myself for how often I complain! I need to stop and cherish my wonderful life and stop logging into Facebook and comparing.
Sometimes, it’s ok to be still.
If I really need my own time, it’s ok to go read my bible in a room while Izaak plays, or eat that chocolate bar in the closet. I’m not being selfish, I’m doing what I can to keep my sanity and a level head. That way the moments I do spend with my family are genuinely enjoyable.
I realized that being still is not just great for me but also sets a good example to my child.
Teaching Izaak to prioritize his health allows him to grow happy habits. I believe that allowing downtime in everyday schedules sets the habit for Izaak later in life for downtime as well. I don’t want my child to feel like every moment of his life has him feeling like a giant stress ball. He should enjoy time with God, his family, friends and his own down time. I sure do and I hope he picks up on that habit as well.
There is nothing wrong with working hard, and being motivated!
However, health and happiness is more important. I hope that I can change my ways so that Izaak doesn’t feel the same pressure I feel to be perfect. It’s a process that I’m learning everyday. I’m trying to live the life God wants me to live, and as long as I’m taking a step in the right direction everyday, I’ll count that as a win.
I know that I am truly blessed.
-Holly, the imperfect momma.